Unlikely Partners
by Xeron.Got.it.memorized
Summary: Malfoy plays a prank on Snape and the trio. They become partners and hilarity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

Snape sat in his room, growling menacingly. The world was out to get him. **AGAIN! **Stupid students. They tortured him. HE was going to **punish **Malfoy. No, he was going to **KILL** Malfoy. With the help of Ron, Harry, and Hermione.

It started out as any normal day, he got out of bed, had coffee, got dressed, and went to the Great Hall. He looked at Gryffindor table with disdain.

Normal day. So far...

His first potions class after lunch was the fifth year class, the one with the "Golden Trio". He twitched. _Neville Longbottom was in his class. Damn! Why was the world such a- _"Severus?" Professor Flitwick began."Uh, do you keep a journal?"

"Yes... Why?"

"It is posted every where... by Mr. Malfoy." Snape glared at Flitwick.

"**WHAT THE HELL?**" Snape shouted. "**I'll kill the fudging brat!**"

"Erm, you'll have to get in line, he did the same to Mr.'s Potter and Weasley, along with Miss Granger." Snape walked out of his rooms, keeping what flitwick had said in mind. _People can't read that! It says why my hair is so greasy! So, he did the same to the Trio, did he? Time to find- _"Professor? We were just looking for you." Hermione Granger said.

"What a coincidence, I was just looking for you as well." The trio looked at each other. Having Snape look for you was **NOT **something good. The three of them gulped. "It's okay. I was just wondering if you would help me destroy Malfoy."

"Gladly!" They chorused.

"Excellent. Let's step into my office, shall we?"

END CHAPTER

This is my 3rd PUBLISHED fanfic, but my millionth imagined. I got the idea for this fic from a fic on MuggleNet Fanfiction, titled **Just One of Those Days** by Madilayn. Read it, love it. Please don't flame, but if you do, I will use them to make burgers for all the nice reviewers! I'm taking votes on what they should do to Malfoy,

A: Kill him and be done with it?

B: Pull a HORRIBLE(When I say HORRIBLE, I mean deadly) prank on him?

Or C: Have Hermione date him and dump him in front of the school?

Cast your vote!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I am SOOOOO sorry it took so long to update! My computer went down so I have to use my mom's PC. Aargh! Snape's POV again. WARNING: a slight joke about HG/SS shippers.

Chapter 2: Run, Malfoy!

"_Let's step into my office."_

"So, ideas?" I asked, wondering what they were going to do.

"Yes, sir! But first, I think this is yours…" Harry said, handing me the MOST important page of my journal. Oh, god. Malfoy is SO dead.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione, this page has one of my deepest, darkest secrets. Can you guys not tell ANYONE about this?" I asked, hoping they would keep secrets.

"We'll try, professor." Hermione said.

"Ok, that'll do." I agreed. "Now, my secret is, I'm allergic to cleaning agents. I break out in hives when I even smell them." I stood there, waiting for them to start laughing.

"Really, Professor?" Hermione asked. "When did this allergic reaction first occur?" I smiled, that typical Ms. Hermione Granger. Living for facts and information.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said flirtingly, watching as they gained looks of revulsion. "I'm only joking. You're not my type, Miss Granger."

"THANK GOD!" Harry and Ron shouted. "You made me sick, violently sick." Harry continued, while miming gagging.

"Now, about Malfoy," I said. "He's allergic to seafood, chocolate, and strawberries. We can prank him, make him lose every point in Slytherin, or just flat out kill him. Opinions?" They all thought for a moment.

"Murder!" Hermione was the one to shock them all.

"Hermione, I'd thought you'd want to save us the trip to Azkaban." Ron said is surprise. I couldn't help but agree with him. Miss Granger, not caring about going to Azkaban?

Unthinkable.

A/N Whadda ya think? See that little blue button there? The one on the left? Yeah, click on that and type, "It was the best story I've ever read!" Okay!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm trying to get the chapters up faster now. Sorry if it seems a little rushed. Little dark in one or two spots. Disclaimer

Unlikely Partners Chapter 3: The Suffering of Malfoy (YAY!!!)

"Personally, I can't wait to start planning his death." Hermione said. We were discussing ways to make Malfoy suffer. Harry sighed.

"Hermione, as much as I would like to, we can't kill Malfoy." Harry said.

"Why not? He's making us suffer, let's make him." Hermione disagreed. "He's a sick, twisted, little Slytherin. We are the worst possible people for him to have messed with. Murder is the best plan for this situation. What about you, Professor? Do you have any ideas?"

"Plenty, but none of them seem good enough compared to killing him slowly and painfully." I said evilly. I thought briefly of a past Death Eater meeting, where they tortured a poor, innocent girl. They had taken a nice, Indiana Jones-ish whip, and beaten her with it. I was afraid that was what Granger was going do to Malfoy.

"How often does he bathe? I have an absolutely evil idea."

"What? What, Hermione?" Potter and Weasley asked excitedly. I was shouting too, on the inside of course. I was curious.

"We sneak into the baths right before he takes one, then we put dye in the tub. When he gets out, he's completely green. It's perfect!" Hermione said with a laugh.

"Why green, though?" Potter asked. I had been wondering the same thing.

"So they'll think a Slytherin did it. And, we'll pay Creevy to be walking by at that time so he can snap some pictures." Granger answered simply. I was impressed. Miss Granger did have an exceptionally twisted mind.

"Genius, Miss Granger. Simply brilliant. Remind me never to get on your bad side." I said, somewhat scared of Miss Granger. "Miss Granger, you have an exceptionally twisted mind. Are you SURE you weren't put into Gryffindor by mistake?"

"I'm starting to think I was." Hermione agreed. I was going to have a talk with the Sorting Hat later.

**Big Line to show next scene goes here!!**

So, later Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and myself were all headed to the prefect bathrooms right before Malfoy usually took a bath. Upon arriving, we filled the bath and poured the green dye in. Then, we sat behind some shelves and watched as Malfoy took a bath (well, all except Miss Granger, **_she is a girl_**).

When Malfoy got out of the tub and put a towel on, we started snickering. And when Malfoy looked in the mirror and saw his body and hair were green, he screamed. Like a girl. It was absolutely hilarious. Then, as he ran out of the room, we heard a shutter click. Perfect. _Now, to get out of here before we get caught._ I didn't have to worry, however, because McGonnagall and Dumbledore told him that he was just trying to get away with outrageous shows of house spirit. They suggested instead of dying himself green, he just wear green clothes instead.

Team Good, ONE. Team Malfoy, ZERO!!

A/N: Ever seen the movie "Big Fat Liar"? Now, press the little blue button and type,"It's the best story ever!!"


	4. Epilogue

A/N: Since everyone wanted it, here is an epilogue to Unlikely Partners.

**Epilogue**

They ended up getting busted eventually. Colin was in front of the prefect's bathroom at the wrong time. They had been caught on film coming out of the bathroom with the bottle of dye in their hands.

Dumbledore was quite impressed with the prank. He said it was one of the best there was in the history of Hogwarts. The trio got off with detention with Snape, who just made it into a minor celebration. They were scared at first. _Since when does Snape throw parties? Especially for his "least" favorite student?_

Snape, it turned out didn't hate them as much (if at all) that they thought. He thought Hermione was a very good witch. He had, after all, given her spectacular grades for being a Gryffindor in Snape's potions class. He also thought that Ron and Harry weren't that bad.

At the end of the year, they decided for old time's sake, to prank Malfoy. It took several days, but they got him good.

Malfoy had been walking around the corridor when he stepped in conveniently placed pile of dog doo. He spelled it clean, but the smell was stuck to him for some reason. He walked into the Great Hall for dinner, when the entire school burst out laughing.

Hermione had done a tricky, little charm and gotten his whole body covered in dog doo that he couldn't see. He had to have Blaise Zabini tell him what was going on before he knew why they were all laughing at a "dignified" member of the house of Malfoy. When he found out who did it, he uncharacteristically laughed with them. Soon after, Malfoy joined the trio. The next year, all five of them made everyone else's lives miserable.

**La Fin**


End file.
